Self Help

It is not at all uncommon for children to have occasional nightmares and fears that surface at bedtime. Children often experience anxiety during emotionally sensitive periods in their lives. Times commonly cited as potentially distressing for a child include the first days of daycare or nursery school. Kids experience some type of separation anxiety as they’re left off at school.

Such anxieties often surface at bedtime, when the child is lying quietly in bed. Strange noises, monsters, and the dark are manifestations of these anxieties. As a result, children may have trouble falling asleep. They may get out of bed and tell you that they are scared or ask for another bedtime story. They may resist going to bed altogether or may refuse to sleep alone. These are normal consequences resulting in normal anxieties experienced by small children.

Often these bedtime difficulties can be resolved without professional help. Parents can talk to their children about the issues responsible for their anxiety. Sometimes some simple reassurance is all that is needed. The child might need to hear that Mommy or Daddy will pick them up after school or daycare. A few extra minutes comforting a child at bedtime may also provide him with the needed security for a peaceful bedtime.

Other times a child may need more than a little reassurance. If a child’s fear is deeply rooted, or if a child refuses to talk to his parents, the anxieties may be more difficult to diffuse. In some cases the fears at night are so great that it is necessary to take the child to a doctor trained in pediatric sleep disturbances.

Pediatric sleep experts suggest that in the younger child, problems arise from bad habits forming around falling asleep both at the beginning of the night, as well as after waking up in the middle of the night, and with excessive feedings at night.

All infants and children wake up during the night. This is part of normal sleep behavior. The problem occurs when the child is unable to fall back to sleep. Some children may cry out when they wake up at night. If the child is used to falling asleep with the parent in the room or in the parent’s arms, then when they wake up in the middle of the night and find themselves in bed alone, they may have difficulty falling back to sleep.

A child who always falls asleep having his back rubbed will later be unable to fall asleep without having his back rubbed. A baby who falls asleep being rocked in a chair may wake up when placed in her crib. These types of behavioral sleep problems are easy to correct within a few weeks.

In the child who has graduated out of a crib and into a bed, problems are usually related to the parents’ being inconsistent in setting limits. Nighttime fears may play a role in the child’s sleep problems, but fears are usually a very small part of the problem. Problems in this age group are usually related to falling asleep at bedtime. This child asks for one more story, one more glass of milk, etc. If the parent gives in to the child’s request, the child learns to keep asking.

It is of important for parents to set appropriate and consistent limits for the children. Once the child understands the rules (”One glass of milk and then it is time to go to sleep.”), she is more likely to stick to them and go to sleep.