Self Help

A major benefit from forgiveness emerges as we give more love and care to the important people in our lives. I know from my own experience and those of many others that hurts from the past often cause us to draw away and mistrust the very people who are trying to love us.

Too often the people who suffer from our grievances are not the people who hurt us but those who care for us today. If we rent too much space to what went wrong, where is the space to appreciate the good in our lives? If we focus our attention on past defeats, how can we give our full loving attention to our significant other, friends, or co-workers? If we remain bitter over past parenting, who suffers - our parents or our current friends and loved ones?

For example, I have a friend named Tim that grew up in a tumultuous home with lots of anger and bitterness. When Tim carries that legacy into his friendships and love relationships, who reaps the consequences? If Tim is mad at his parents for their out-of-control home and develops a short fuse, do his parents or his current partner bear the brunt? Of course they do, and it isn’t fair.