How Did I Ever Get Like This?
December 30th, 2005 (Overcoming Fear)
First let me start off by making it crystal clear that just because you have a form of agoraphobia (fear based) and are extremely fearful of what would be considered “normal” situations that does not mean that you are abnormal in any way. The personality that has the propensity for severe anxiety is a very likable and creative one and it is a personality with enormous strengths.
I have seen hundreds of people who have suffered with this condition and I have never met or talked with an agoraphobic whom I did not like right off the bat. Understanding the development of your condition of fears and why it has happened to you is a helpful start in the process of letting go of the fear of agoraphobia.
The two sources of help that you would normally go to in order to understand your fear issues consist of a psychoanalyst or a behaviorist. While the psychoanalysts like to think that the “why” is most important in dealing with this condition, the behaviorists will argue that looking too hard for reasons only slows recovery.
We like to believe that there is a healthier and natural spot somewhere in between these two approaches. But before we get into discussing making important behavior changes, it is better to get more into the issues of “Why” this happened to you. And I am assuming that like me, you will not rest until you can figure out for yourself just exactly what has gone on in your life that has resulted in the anxious fears inside of you.
There is not one person that I know that has simply accepted agoraphobia as their fate in this lifetime. And it is quite a relief that there is actually an explanation out there that is not fraught with words like “emotionally unstable,” “indefinitely neurotic” or even “hopelessly crazy”.
It is easy to see why a person that does not suffer any type of fear based panic attacks could label another person who does have issues with agoraphobia “crazy”. But the truth is that this is a real problem, a real experience of complete and utter fear, and should be addressed accordingly.