Positive Self-Esteem Reduces the Chance of Co-Dependency
The term co-dependence initially came into use in reference to a family member, usually a spouse, of an alcoholic or other chemically dependent person. The addict was the “dependent” person, being literally dependent on a chemical, and the co-dependent was the “significant other,” who was often an “enabler,” catering to the addict’s needs and whims. A typical description of the dependent/co-dependent relationship is that the dependent person plays a tune and the co-dependent answers to it. It is said that the co-dependent sometimes is sicker than the dependent person.
Recently, co-dependency has been applied to relationships other than addiction in which one person plays a tune and the other dances to it; the latter is not doing what he or she really wants to do but what another expects. The “dancers” may lose control of their own lives and destiny because their behavior is being dictated by someone else.
If we have good self-esteem, we are unlikely to be manipulated. Others may try to change our personality, but we can stand our own ground. Of course, standing one’s own ground may not always be commendable; some- times a personality could benefit from constructive changes. But if we lack a firm sense of self, we are vulnerable to allowing others to define who we are.