Self Help

Express your thoughts clearly: To be effective in interpersonal communication, organize your thoughts. Think through what you plan to say before you say it. Choose the appropriate words that will best communicate these thoughts, and speak in the language of the listener. Strive for utmost clarity.

Be willing to express your feelings: Those people who are able to express their feelings are more likely to be effective communicators than those who are not. This does not mean an irresponsible venting of emotions; rather, it means expression of feelings tempered with responsibility. If you are unable or unwilling to express your feelings, others may view you as bland. Your people want to know where you are coming from. Tell them! Move beyond merely exchanging data and information. Enrich your communication with a clear expression of your feelings about the issues at hand.

Put yourself in the place of the other person: The effective communicator has empathy: the capacity to participate in another’s thoughts or feelings. Empathy is the ability to see the world through the other person’s eyes. It is an attitude, a frame of mind that has a profound effect on the quality of the communication. Empathy is what helps establish the exchange as a living mutual relation.

Be “truly present” When engaging in interpersonal communication, many managers appear to be preoccupied with other thoughts. Their body language conveys the impression that their thoughts are focused on something other than the matter at hand. Don’t be guilty of this type of behavior. Whenever talking with another person, give that person your undivided attention. Even if you have only 10 minutes to give, give the person 10 minutes of your undivided attention.

Be a good listener: It has been estimated that no more than about 10 percent of the general population might be considered really good listeners. That means that about 90 percent of us have room for improvement. It will be to your credit if you develop a reputation for being a good listener. Be an active listener and listen with understanding. Ask good questions. Paraphrase the key points that the other person has made. Check your perception of the person’s feelings. Link the elements. Achieve unity. These are things that you can learn to do. Great effort is required, but making the effort will surely enhance your effectiveness in interpersonal communication.

Postpone evaluation: Whenever a new idea is being presented for consideration, many managers are too quick on the draw in evaluating the idea. Before they have really understood the idea, they judge it to be either good or bad. Such behavior tends to inhibit communication and may cause the manager to miss out on some promising ideas. Whenever a new idea is being presented to you, discipline yourself to postpone evaluation until after you have demonstrated that you fully understand the idea.