Self Help

Avoid becoming hostile when another person’s views differ from your own: Employees learn a great deal about their manager on the basis of how the manager responds to opposing views. (And body language speaks louder than words.) If the manager appears threatened or distressed whenever an employee offers an opposing view, the employees in all likelihood will be reluctant to challenge the manager in the future. As a consequence, the manager’s ideas may go untested, and some potentially good ideas may never be considered. Avoid becoming hostile to opposing views. Try to understand the other person’s views: what they mean, how they came about, and why the person supports these particular views. Then, when appropriate, try to incorporate these views into your own thinking, while at the same time giving due credit to the person who generated the ideas.

Be willing to change your convictions as new truths are uncovered: Too many people believe that they have a “lock” on truth. There is only one way to the top of the mountain, and that is their way. Their own views are obviously correct, which means that any opposing views are obviously incorrect. One of the greatest challenges for you as a manager is to keep an open mind. This does not mean a wishy-washy approach in which you agree with every opposing view, but it does mean that you will hear others out and try to understand their views, even when the views are contrary to your own. Perhaps it will turn out to be a significant learning experience; you may glean some insights that will help you strengthen your own views.

Be willing to confront: Conflict is an integral part of life. If we are encouraging people to be authentic in expressing their thoughts and feelings, conflict is inevitable; if we are calling for people to be creative in expressing their own views, conflict is inevitable; and if we are requiring people to work in complex and ever-changing organizations that have competing demands, conflict is inevitable. Conflict is not something to be avoided; rather, it is something to be guided and channeled for productive ends. Whenever your views differ from those of others, be willing to confront. This is essential for authentic dialogue.

Think win-win: When confronting others, there are those who think only in terms of win lose. There obviously will be a winner and a loser. This is a basic attitude that has been ingrained over the years. Don’t get trapped in the win-lose mentality. Transcend it! Focus on ends rather than means. Ask yourself: In this particular confrontation, what might be done to assure that both my adversary and I achieve our objectives? How can we both emerge as winners?