Self Help

When you dismiss the positive feelings associated with accomplishment, it’s easy to slip back into negative self-talk and sabotage your success. In this discouraged state, you may find it difficult to focus on or allow yourself to enjoy feelings of success as feelings of self-judgment then emerge. Talking to yourself in a negative way reinforces habitual, unhealthy behavior. A statement such as, “Why forge ahead if I never get anywhere?” reflects a lack of self-confidence and low self-esteem. The self-judgment involved in focusing on past failures, rather than past successes, keeps you in the shadows of uncertainty where there’s no opportunity for growth.

When your self-confidence and sense of security are deficient, you may impose a detour on yourself to avoid taking challenges or risks. When a highly successful event does happen, you may believe that it’s sheer luck. Self-talk and beliefs such as “My effort has no effect on the outcome,'’ may stem from previously programmed messages that you received from discouraging others.

Feelings of insecurity and a lack of self-confidence can influence you to try to control external events, including others. When you’re busy trying to control external events, you may not be in control of yourself. For example, trying to control the way someone feels toward you tan be very frustrating. You can’t control the feelings of others, but you can be in control of the way you respond and behave toward them.

Attempting to control everything or everyone around you, rather than managing your own feelings and behaviors, undermines your self-growth and awareness. The point is not to focus on stopping others on their road to success, but to focus on your own personal growth and success. Work at understanding and appreciating your strengths (e.g. integrity, perseverance, sound judgment, forthrightness) that are always available within you. Focus on developing your strengths to become enthusiastic and energetic. When you empower your mind and body to develop your personal strengths and resources, you enliven and strengthen your commitment to become successful.

Why sabotage yourself, or anyone else? Criticizing yourself unjustly undermines your growth and success. Blaming and judging yourself because you’re not able to manage other people’s thoughts and feelings is self-sabotaging. Undermining the success of others creates barriers to friendly relations, making it more difficult to appreciate situations that offer positive growth and opportunity. The feelings of success generated between two or more people far outweigh the feelings created by sabotage and judging yourself.

Stop undermining yourself or others. Concentrate on your own road to success. Devote your time and energy to developing healthy thoughts and emotions. Take responsibility for your actions and move confidently toward your new opportunities.