Self Help

Have you ever had somebody just get so angry at you that they literally exploded in your face, yelled and screamed, and all over something that wasn’t even your fault? I have, and it took just one incident to learn and live by the fact that these people are not really mad at you, they are just using you as a scapegoat for their own problems.

Allow me to explain. As a young man working my way through college, I took on many jobs as a waiter. The work was flexible and the pay wasn’t half bad on the weekends. But of course there were always a few customers that would act like jerks to the wait staff, but that was normal.

However, one day a fellow waiter named James had delivered a meal to a man that was dining alone. The man looked very depressed and upset as it was. As soon as James set the man’s order down he stood up in a flash and without hesitation waved his arms up and yelled at the top of his lungs that this was not the food he ordered. He cursed at James and threw the food on the ground. We couldn’t believe our eyes. The man must have used every curse word he knew, all the while towering over James. It even scared me!

After the guy stormed over to the manager James simply walked over to another table, smiled, and and with a relaxed composure said “Good evening folks, I’m glad you stopped in, may I get you something to drink?”

I was astonished that James kept his composure and it almost seemed as if he didn’t even care the man was kicking and screaming. In fact, the more that he yelled the more polite James was to him.

In those days I would have yelled back and probably gotten myself fired. I was so impressed with James that I just had to pull him aside and let him know how much I admired the way he handled such a tense situation. James said “Oh it wasn’t really nothing at all. You see, people like that are just having a bad day. He wasn’t mad at me. He really wasn’t mad that the food was not exactly how he wanted it.”

James went on to say “That poor guy probably just lost his job, or his wife, perhaps he is facing loosing his children. I was just a way for him to vent and I am sure that deep inside he really is just a nice man.”

I was blown away. At that age I must admit that James gave me my first look into changing my perception towards rude and angry people. I started to look at everyone in a different way. I realized then and there that the best defense against someone who is seemingly out to get you is to just let them vent it all out, smile, and move on.