Self Help

There are three fundamental questions you need to ask yourself in preparation for a negotiation. The more important the negotiation, and the less skilled you are as a negotiator, the more essential it is to think through these questions carefully prior to engaging the other party.

1. What Do You Want? The first question to ask yourself before a negotiation is. What do I want? Do you want to sell your house within three months? Do you want to lease with the option to buy? Do you want to hire this job applicant? Do you want to see the latest Blockbuster movie? Do you want a new Corvette - in red?

As simple as this question might seem, it is not. There are several reasons for this. First, knowing what you want often involves more than one issue, concern, or item. Not only do I want to sell my house within three months, but I want to sell it for X amount of dollars. I want to see the latest Blockbuster movie, and I want to go to the late show. I want to hire this job applicant - but I want him to start within the week, I want him to agree to a salary under $50K, and I want him to relocate to San Diego!

2. Second, some of these issues are more important than others, yet there is a tendency to lump them all together or think of them as equally significant. Is it as important to hire this applicant as it is to have him start work within the week? Which is more important? It is worthwhile to think in terms of what you must have and what you would like to have - that is, to prioritize your wants and needs.

3. Third, you generally have some unspoken or subconscious issues or desires. It could be that these are things you take for granted (the new employee will pay his own relocation expenses), or issues that you are repressing for some reasons. These subconscious issues may be just as powerful as your stated desires, but unless you are able to recognize or acknowledge them it is difficult to negotiate.

You want to be clear in your own mind about what you want, nimbleness is one of the keys to successful face-to-face negotiations.

Let’s suppose that you want to rent a one-bedroom beach house for a week, and that you want to spend no more than $1,500. You might be inclined to approach prospective lessors directly, with a clear statement of your desires - a one-bedroom house on the beach for one week for under $1,500. But doing so misses out on an opportunity to rent the house for less, or to rent a larger house for the same price. As the old saying goes, “Be careful what you ask for, because you just might get it.” In other words, you need to be firm yet flexible about what you want, open to opportunities. And although you should think through what it is you want, it may be better not to blurt it out.