Self Help

When sharing feelings with a man, let him know you are not trying to tell him what to do. Don’t ask him too many questions or he may feel you are prying, or trying to change him. He will either become defensive or agree with you for the moment to pacify you.

Pausing is a practical and useful application in gender communication. This gives the listener the opportunity to consider the speaker’s primary needs before responding. This is especially useful when a female asks a male for support or a favor. Allow the male to work through his resistance. As long as you remain silent you stand a good chance of getting what you asked for.

Women have a tendency to break the silence with comments like, “Oh, never mind,” or “It’s not that important,” or “Don’t bother.” Women also have a tendency to ask tag questions, with qualifiers. This makes their statements less powerful and believable.

Men often talk over women, or speak louder to get their point across. This makes women feel unevenly matched. Worse, it can be interpreted by women as a means of control. The soft spoken, more tentative style common to women, however, can be wrongly interpreted as being uninformed or unsure.