Self Help

Once you determine the source of conflict by seeing the situation from the other person’s perspective, you can find a compromise that satisfies both of you. Now that you have defused a tense situation, you have the opportunity to discuss possible outcomes and solutions to the problem.

Impress upon the other person that - to work out a true compromise - each of you needs to look at the issues from the other’s perspective. Once you explore the specific issues and focus on the problems - not the personalities - then solutions for compromise will surface. Using this process, both people walk away from what was once a hostile situation feeling satisfied with the results.

You might guide the other person into talking about solutions or a compromise by saying:

1. “Now that we both understand the issue better, let’s see if we can come up with some solutions that will make both of us happy.”

2. “I’m sure we can iron out our differences on this problem”

3. “I can understand that you feel that everything is getting dumped on you. If we both take a look at all the work that needs to be done, I’m sure we can work out a better way to share the load.”

4. “When your not happy, I’m not happy. Let’s start talking again so that we can figure out a way to get this relationship back on track.”