Self Help

Paralinguistic communication is the study of voice and how words are said. When we open our mouths we reveal all kinds of things about ourselves that have nothing at all to do with the words we are uttering and manipulating the nonverbal elements of our message can completely change its meaning.

Paralinguistic cues refer to everything having to do with speech for the words we actually utter. These may be a bit subtler other forms of nonverbal behaviors in communicating our intent. Certainly a booming, yelling voice is not subtle. However, a firm that conveys conviction is more nuanced than a pointing finger, big gestures, or the invasion of one’s personal space. Vocal cues include:

Rate: How many words per minute? In the United States, people from the north-east speak with more rapidity than do Southerners and generally men speak faster than women. Rapid rates of speech (and quickly coming up with a retort) have been correlated with composure and self-assurance.

Volume: How loud or soft is the voice? Researchers have found that confidence, assertiveness, and boldness are reflected in louder speech.

Pitch: Is the voice high or low in pitch? A high-pitched voice can sound squeaky and childlike. We associate lower pitches with greater credibility. More men are born with low-baritone or bass-pitched voices. They rarely use the highest level of pitch that women use.

Inflection: Inflection refers to variations in pitch. How song-like does one sound? Imagine a storyteller reading a book to children. We would expect inflection. Too much inflection, however, in other contexts such as the business world can undermine credibility. In contrast, we are put to sleep by speakers who employ a monotonic voice, and they are perceived as less charismatic.

Quality: Quality generally refers to those vocal characteristics that allow you to differentiate one voice from another. Is the voice small, feminine, or tremulous; thin, throaty, or fronted (aloof); tense, flat, grating, nasal, harsh, or shrill? All of these represent different combinations of rate, pitch, and volume.

Intensity: How emphatic are the statements? For example, “I really want you to do it now!” The intensity can be a direct indicator of the speaker’s passion and commitment or lack of it!

Silence: Silence can speak Volumes. It can provide thinking time, hurt another person, isolate oneself, prevent communication, convey feelings, create personal distance, signal respect and reverence, provide greater opportunity for increasing awareness of the self and others, accent or emphasize certain messages, say nothing, allow the speaker to explore his or her own thoughts and feelings, or create interpersonal distance. The Amish call this “shunning.” Pausing is a form of silence that can be motivated by anxiety. It also impacts the rhythm and cadence or flow of the speech.