Self Help

When it comes to reaching an end to a social conflict by use of communication, skill in listening, assertion, and conflict resolution are required in order to use collaborative problem solving. In addition, you need to understand a process that works for you in order to reach a solution that solution. Below is a 6-step sample Collaborative Problem-Solving Method.

1. Define the problem/Assert your needs. Listen reflectively until you understand the other person’s needs. Include those needs in a short summary of the problem. Except for very simple and difficult problems, allow five to 20 minutes for this step. As you may have heard before, “A problem well defined is half solved.”

2. Brainstorm possible solutions. Brainstorming is the rapid listing of possible solutions without any clarification, evaluation or judgment. Brainstorming focuses on quantity, not quality. It is essential for you not to come into a problem-solving session with the attitude that there is only one adequate solution to the conflict.

3. Select a mutually satisfying solution. Suggest more than one solution to the problem, then ask your opponent which of the proposed alternatives he favors to solve the problem. State which alternatives look best to you. See which choices coincide. Then jointly decide on one or more of the alternatives. Be sure your opponent is satisfied with the solution. Once you have agreed to a solution, it is important to try to foresee the possible consequences of the solution.

4. Plan who will do what to implement the solution. Sometimes the solution is such an accomplishment that implementation is overlooked and taken for granted. The parties involved need to decide who will do what, where and by when. If necessary, write down your agreement, date it and sign it.

5. Implement the plan. The first four points in the problem-solving process are generally resolved during your first discussion. Now it is time to act. Be sure to follow through and do what you promised. If the implementation falls short for whatever reason, it may require an assertive message and reflective listening to avoid subsequent conflict.

6. Evaluate the process and the solution. It is important for the parties involved to question the collaborative process. Helpful points to consider in your evaluation include: What did each person like about the process? What did each person like least about the process? What can each party do better next time?