Self Help

It may be a cliche, but it is nevertheless true that the key to successful conversation is good listening - this is what makes other people enjoy talking to you. But good listening isn’t only about asking relevant questions. The constant non-verbal signals of your interest are actually more vital than your occasional verbal queries, however well phrased.

The best way to send the right signals is, of course, genuinely to listen, blocking out your own thoughts and focusing on what your companion is telling you. If you do this, you’ll spontaneously offer the body language that a good listener does: you’ll look at your companion, you’ll naturally lean towards them and angle your head slightly to one side in order to hear them better. You won’t fidget or fiddle; your body will remain still and attentive, except for any slight matching of posture or gesture.

For extra impact, you can also ‘raise the volume’ on your body language signs of attentiveness. Humans are biologically programmed to feel good when they get a reaction from someone else, so the more feedback you give to someone who is talking, the more appreciated they’ll feel. Begin by angling your body toward the person who’s talking and you will be offering a nonverbal invitation to speak.